


Address from a Drifter

by DeanRH



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x18, Destiel - Freeform, Episode: s15e18 Despair - Castiel's Confession Scene, Episode:s15e18 Despair, Letter, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:35:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27523147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeanRH/pseuds/DeanRH
Summary: This is not a story, but an open letter to the Destiel fandom.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	Address from a Drifter

This is not so much a story as _to whom it may concern._

This week has been one of the most entertaining, silly, hopeful, and fun of my entire life, and I've been around for a while. All these wonderful, positive things happened simultaneously - the triumph of the election, the rumor that Putin was stepping down, Castiel confessing his love to Dean. It feels like the moment at the end of a horror film where everything looks dark and then the sunrise appears on the horizon. I've enjoyed seeing how happy and hopeful everyone has been and I'd love to be here for the second half, for Dean's confession. I love the way I feel right now, like anything is possible, and that has not been the case for some years now. Half of me wants it to be over, half of me wishes we could all stay here in this wonderful moment filled with possibility.

I realize this may not matter or be important to most of the people here, but I wanted to address it. I'm a drifter, as those who have read my other works already know. I have lived on the American road for many years. We are not a society of people that gets much airplay. I doubt most people are aware that there is a drifter and hobo community at all. And I use the term "community" very loosely, because there's nothing organized about it, but we do meet each other or meet up from time to time. Hobo signs are still used across the US and there is a loose series of laws called the hobo code that govern those who live on the road (Wikipedia even has a copy).

But we're from all walks of life, all races, religions, genders, sexualities. Most are outcasts for one reason or another. Didn't quite fit into whatever box they wanted to put us in. And people keep trying to shove us into boxes, to "settle down" and live like the rest of society. We've been shamed and ostracized by our families and friends because we live a lifestyle they don't approve of and don't understand. Because our lifestyle makes _them_ uncomfortable, they are always trying to get us to stay in one place, because they cannot fathom that _the road is our home._ That's where we are most happy.

I have always felt extremely uncomfortable with the way they put Sam and Dean into an underground bunker, as well as the fandom's relieved reaction to it. This is exactly the kind of thing people try to force drifters to accept, and then insist we're happy, when staying in one place was never our happiness. The reason they do this is because it makes _them_ happy, and our lives on the road make them uncomfortable because they could never imagine happiness living that kind of life. Dean had to crawl out of his own grave, why the hell would he want to live in an underground windowless concrete bunker? The move to the bunker always disturbed me and showed that people will never really get it, even on a program that explored a part of the drifter lifestyle.

I would also like to address the reason many LGBT people enjoy the drifter lifestyle, and the reason it's very common to meet them on the road. The thing is, drifters don't judge. We are all of a similar stamp. We've had to work with every kind of person imaginable. We also tend to be leftist for these reasons; liberals-with-guns is the usual thing. The number of drifters I've met who are LGBT, along with the example of Neal Cassady (Dean Moriarty in _On the Road_ ), made me believe that Dean Winchester was probably bisexual, as many men who live on the road are. Drifters are tough as nails because we have to be. A very high number of drifters are LGBT, so the concept of a bisexual badass drifter is not only realistic to me, it describes several of my friends.

Drifters have all lived for many years with the only mention of us on television, in films, in books, as the stereotypical "drifter serial killer". In fact, this trope is brought up by Amelia when Sam arrives to fix her sink at the motel. But we were accustomed to being invisible, kind of hated and feared, or at least dismissed and not understood. There's something "wrong with us" because we prefer life on the road.

But make no mistake - drifters and hobos are part of the great American tapestry. Without us, the nation would not function the way it does. We are, as I have said previously, the stagehands of America, working behind the scenes to keep it running. Immigrants, day-laborers, all those transient workers built America with their own hands, built the railways and more, and they keep the engine going to this day. Drifters know this, but it's impossible to explain the importance of things like just-in-time-shipping to people who never think about how their food got to their table.

Then, after all these decades of obscurity, suddenly this little tv show comes out and shows drifters as normal people, as heroes! We were all absolutely amazed. Not just Sam and Dean, but the entire "hunter community" is very reflective of the drifter and hobo one. One unfortunate outcome is that the show seems to have inspired a sort of gentrification of the road (which is actually a real problem, because motels are getting too expensive for us to live in now).

But for the first time, our lifestyle was _cool._

For the first time, saying _I'm a drifter_ inspired interested questions, impressed people. It was a strange and welcome new thing. 

I really understood the reason and need for representation in media through this experience. We went from _possible serial killer_ to _interesting and cool_ because of this show.

But the real crowning glory for us was never _Supernatural._

It was Destiel.

Imagine - and I'm sure many of you don't have to imagine, for different reasons - that everything about your entire life is looked down on and ridiculed. Or at best, just not understood. Then there's this story - this epic, breathless, unbelievable story - about a drifter being worthy of an angel's love. An angel's selfless, all-consuming, perfect love. 

And all those "sins" and everything else about your life - none of that matters, because an _angel loves you._

Recently, I read someone's comment that "Destiel isn't really about Dean and Cas. Destiel is about _us_ " and I agree wholeheartedly for the above reasons. It tells us all that we are not only worthy, but _more than._ That a being who can see into our souls and knows every part of us, finds our soul the most beautiful, most perfect, most pure, despite being a drifter, despite the things we've done, despite everything.

I understand this is also the appeal of Destiel for the LGBT community. Because I've met LGBT drifters and these are people who in tears have found hope via this story. "Remember that Cas loves Dean, and Dean's a drifter." This is why I believe this story will live in drifter and hobo folklore long after the show ends. It is a comfort, and I imagine also a comfort to those who are not drifters but LGBT. Given that this story is all about God not being able to control his creations, but that an angel still fell in love with one of them and found him worthy - it is a poignant commentary about religion and how to survive beyond it. That despite what your family says, your friends say, your church says, what society says: you are worthy of a cosmic being's love. 

It inspired me to write fan fiction for the first time. These are the first and only characters I have ever "shipped", I had never even heard of "shipping" before. I'm also a writer by trade, among other things, and have spent a ridiculous amount of time being more inspired by the Destiel story than anything else, ever, particularly during this very weird week.

I realize that I've said much of this before in random comments and responses to the stories I've written. However, I wanted to put my thoughts all together here before whatever happens next happens. 

It's been an honor to be here with you all at this historic moment.

Let's hope for another historic moment to come.

But if not -

I will tell you what I would tell any new drifter I ran across who was feeling nervous, feeling excited, feeling fear:

Castiel is in love with the drifter Dean Winchester. Romantic, epic, die-for-you _in-love_ love.

And they can't take that away from us, no matter what happens next.


End file.
